personal

writing with low motivation

I’ve had really low motivation for the past week. Many different factors went into this, but they all begin with the words lack of.

Lack of sleep. Lack of healthy meals eaten at regular intervals (I have a terrible tendency to skip breakfast and lunch, and make it up with snacks. Don’t do this). Lack of exercise (with all our family activities in full swing, it’s easy to let that one go. Especially since I’ve never been excited about working out in the first place).

Lack of excitement about my work, exacerbated by the above factors.

I’ve been writing on willpower, with the aid of an egg timer and a wordcount tool to keep me on track for my word goals.

A bit of social pressure came into play as well. Since I self-identify publicly as a writer, I feel honor-bound to actually do the work.

Those things kept me going through the rough patch. I’ve had a couple of good nights, sleepwise, and I’m feeling all caught up. We’re on break on school this week, giving me time to breathe, recharge, and get my house in shape. I’m no neat freak, but after a while, clutter is just a drag on my spirit. Getting things put away in their proper places lifts my mood.

I’m planning on baking a chocolate cake this afternoon. Now that will really help!

How are you all doing?

october

A new month.

Time to turn another page of the calendar. Fill up its blank squares with the commitments we already have. Rejoice in the free days sandwiched between the busy days. Ponder over how to spread things out so everyone gets a chance to balance active times with quiet times.

Time for me to plan out the month’s writing. Last month, I wrote over 25K. Can I make it to 30K this month? On one hand, beta readers will also return Flux to me with their feedback. On the other hand, there’s also the fall break from school.

I think it over and decide to say Yes! to a 30K month.

I tinker with my daily weights in WriteTrack as I set up the challenge. I want double days on Saturdays and half days on Sundays. I think, if I frontload enough, I can take Sundays off from Flare entirely–and use them to work on fairy tale prompts instead.

I decide to hit the ground running this evening. After a late start–I felt like a general marshaling her troops all day until about four o’ clock–I come up with almost 2500 words.

It’s a good start, better than I’d hoped.

I love October, but today was not an auspicious morning. I huddled on the couch, cold, with rain falling outside, the sky grey and the ground soggy. It was hard to think about WIPs and words, while scanning the news for the latest updates on Hurricane Joaquin. My mind went to much more practical things, like canned food and bottled water and mental counting of candles and flashlights.

But at the end of the day, I have many more words and the hurricane appears to be veering away into the Atlantic. I am grateful for both of these.

The words. Ah, the words. The last few chapters have been all about reuniting, homecoming, facing the past and the regrets, and looking to the future. Good chapters that strengthen bonds, build alliances, reveal new facets.

It’s only a brief respite. I know what’s coming. That smudge on the horizon is a massive storm.

I love October. It comes from spending over a decade in Vermont (or just across the border, in New Hampshire). It’s my favorite month. When I look out the window and see maple leaves turn a muted orange or feel that autumnal combination of chill wind and warm sun, I am homesick all over again for New England. I remember–oh so vividly–piles of pumpkins and apples at the farm stand, scarlet sumac in all its glory, wood smoke rising from a neighbor’s chimney.

I have yet to appreciate and love fall in Virginia the same way.

Three more minutes till October 1st turns to October 2nd. I’m up late, but I enjoy these solitary hours, closed up in my study with music and words. My mind turns to fairy tale prompts again. Cinderella/birthday cake is ready to be written, Little Mermaid/gyrocopter almost there. I will think on them tonight, as I wait to fall asleep.

I will wake up to Friday, which as Weekend Eve, brings its own joyous end-of-week burst of energy. See you in the new day.

a numbers post, among other things

This month I have already written 26,302 words, which is a goodly chunk over my 25K goal. And I still have 7 more writing days to go!

Flare now sits at a hefty 51,990 words. I’m now in the second act, wherein my heroes have regrouped to make a push at solving their rather massive problem. They think they have a good plan–they’re even feeling cautiously optimistic for once–but they have no idea what I have in store for them.

Cue the maniacal laughter.

My rule is: what could go wrong, does.

In other news, I cleaned my desk.

Why is this a big deal? Well, I realized I was subconsciously avoiding my writing space. I’d pause at the study, frown at the clutter, then keep walking past. I’d write on the couch, my bed, or the kitchen table. Now I’m a big proponent of Have Laptop, Will Write Anywhere, but there’s something to be said about having a space of one’s own, with notes and pens and scrap paper within reach.

And all it took to reclaim the space was five minutes of stacking and putting away. I’m happier and the words flow better.

In other other news, the daughter had her very first riding lesson.

So it begins.

And that’s my midweek. How’s yours treating you?

scattered

No, that is not the title of the next broken fairy tale anthology, though after Shattered, Wired, and Entangled, such a name would not be a surprise.

Rather, it’s an apt description of my state of mind.

I’m trying to wear a bunch of hats all at once. I’m mom, homeschooler, gardener, housekeeper, writer, publisher, with another handful of part-time jobs thrown in the mix. At any give time, I have a bunch of unconnected thoughts in my head. I can go, for instance, from considering which low-maintenance perennials to plant in a barren shady strip along the side of the house to plotting out a short story set in space to lesson planning in the space of ten minutes.

Yes, it’s disorganized and messy inside my mind, and things have frequently slipped through the cracks. No wonder I feel like I’m constantly jogging in place–or being pulled in different directions by a bunch of strong, feral cats (uh, that analogy didn’t work so well, but indulge me).

I’m working on imposing more order in my life, something which is long overdue! It’s an ongoing process, I’ve found. Everything slips into chaos if one isn’t actively maintaining it (*looks at state of the house*).

Spring is a great time for a renewal, though. I’ve made some small changes to my routines that are already helping, and I have the energy and enthusiasm to see them through.

What about you? For those of you in the Northern Hemisphere (can’t forget that my Australian friends have different seasonal rhythms), what has spring brought you?